There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

i like pie

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

Women's Rights

Blake wilkeys hair style

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

sky silverstein

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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