what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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rose are red violets should be purple

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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World peace

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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What's black, white, and red all over? The flag of the Arapaho Nation.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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Rebecca Black

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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