What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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69

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What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

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Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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