Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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What has a head but can't see? A penis.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops