One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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