What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Where's the dick??? east

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88

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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