what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so they can be used interchangeably.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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NASCAR

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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