A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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whats your name? bumder:)

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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