Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty jumped off and committed suicide.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

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penis?

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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