What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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