A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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Illumati Confirmed

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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Q. What did Tarzan Say when he met Jane? A. Tarzan Being raised by apes and not learning English would have no knowledge of the language and would probably hoot and screech like his fellow ape brothers

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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