Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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Roses are red.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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Women Drivers.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops