she wasn't 18

How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

Microwave

What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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