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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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