Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

thumb_up thumb_down +1

God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down

Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats white and all over my room? paint

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops