how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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