What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red violets are blue I have AIDS go get checked

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +150

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

hey hey apple

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -25

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops