- Anti Joke

you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

Omg its that superman nope chuck testa

what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

Q: Why don't gingers have souls? A:Ginger is a root that consumed whole as a delicacy, medicine, or spice. Why would it have a soul?

Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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