What did God say to the crying man? God doesn't exist.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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YOU

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silver bullet?

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops