Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a bench A bench can support a family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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The global news

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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