whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

scientology.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

thumb_up thumb_down -11

2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops