How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of protesthic arms which changed his life forever

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops