Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Guess what What

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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why did the chicken cross the road cause i fucked your mom

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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lets bomb africa

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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