Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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A black student graduated High School

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Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Are you a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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