Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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