What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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the holocaust

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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