Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-646-2835 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names travis

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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Obama

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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