How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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