What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

69

thumb_up thumb_down -1

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Joe Biden

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -2

mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops