What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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It's only racist if you consider them people.

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

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If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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