How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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A guy walks into a store and buys a sandwich.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops