How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

Women.

Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

Anti jokes SUCK!

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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