what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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Whats big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A Fridge.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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