roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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What happens if Chuck Norris meets a Transformer? Nothing. They would converse, then go their separate ways. Or Chuck would get killed. Horribly.

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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YEAH THEY DO!

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Dyslexia ruels!

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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hey

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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