Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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Jersey Shore

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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Bitch! Love, J.B.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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