Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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