What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down -233

A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

thumb_up thumb_down +13

so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops