Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

a horse walks into a blender ow

what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

A possesed goat: "moo"

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

How do you call a white guy surrounded by 9 black guys? Steve Nash.

Communism hehe xd

Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

math test 2=2

What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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