What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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wanna hear a joke? not really

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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Black History Month

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Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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what do you call a retarded italian Niko

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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