If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

Micheal Curran...that is all.

What do you do when there is a truck on the interstate? Nothing.

What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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