what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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minorities

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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That's what she didn't say

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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