What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Your mother just died.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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A Chinese kid fails his math test.

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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Please don't shoot me

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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