Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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