How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

thumb_up thumb_down +44

a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

bologna

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:What the worst lie you have ever told??!!???!?!?!?!? A: I have read and agree to the Terms and Service

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

swag

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops