squash squash who squash my ass

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops