What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Women's Rights

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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