Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Where is my tractor?

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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