What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

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A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

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womens rights

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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