Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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Women's rights.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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Okay okay, its not like I wanted a serious answer anyway, bye!

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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