A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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