I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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eat a hot dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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