Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

Hey

What is worse

George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

penis

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

If you are reading this you are a nerd

A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

Robert Mugabe.

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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