why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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You.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Your mam is so fat.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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what did the man say to his wife? I love you

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Democracy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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