Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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