- Anti Joke

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

Q: What did one blind girl ask the other? A: Where are you?

Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

The original Superman: Cruelty! Do you remember the original superman color movies? Like when he just deflected lasers bombs fire and bullets, he threw busses, spun around the world, was completely immune to anything but kryptonite and then... (pls dont hate) ...Fell of a horse and became a complete cripple?

I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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