whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

What's easier to get than a broke hooker on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

What do u call a Mexican on the moon? An astronaut. What do u call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved!!!

So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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