Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did Edna fall off a cliff? Edna is blind, and so lacks the visual perception and spatial awareness of other hillwalkers.

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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penis hehehehe

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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