What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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the real mccoy

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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