Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Jews...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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