Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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scientology.

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Women's Rights

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Bob dole

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Sex education in Texas.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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A Muslim walked into a bar. He didn't drink anything

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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