What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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What stops a train? A missile

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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