What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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BUT HWY?

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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