Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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this website...

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Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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