When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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