What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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