There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Josh kissing a girl

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Roses are red. Violets are purple

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What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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