why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

The dewey decimal system

what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

mexicans fishing

Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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