What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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