What did Delaware? A coat.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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